Kids paraded around in public on a leash inevitably grow up to murder and dismember people.
Leash Kids and Serial Killers
Studies have shown that as many as 89.4%* of serial killers were leashed as children. With the frequency of kids on leashes rising at an astronomical rate, this is a potentially catastrophic problem that our society will have to face in the future. So the next time you see a kid on a leash, resist the urge to laugh and instead take a picture. Submit to leashkids@gmail.com and help document these individuals that are going to grow up to be serial killers, if they aren't already.
Jessica can count all the way to four! Why, that's the same number of people who have mysteriously gone missing from her neighborhood over the past month or so!
Escalators have always given Marian pause ever since she saw someone's foot get torn to shreds. Obviously she found it hilarious but she does like to be a bit cautious now.
Xavier freezes, hoping that his prey's vision is movement-based. That seems to be the case because despite impending doom the target hasn't started to flee.