Kids paraded around in public on a leash inevitably grow up to murder and dismember people.
Leash Kids and Serial Killers
Studies have shown that as many as 89.4%* of serial killers were leashed as children. With the frequency of kids on leashes rising at an astronomical rate, this is a potentially catastrophic problem that our society will have to face in the future. So the next time you see a kid on a leash, resist the urge to laugh and instead take a picture. Submit to leashkids@gmail.com and help document these individuals that are going to grow up to be serial killers, if they aren't already.
*Best estimate
Wednesday
Jared
Jared is anxious that the police will dig up the girl he buried alive before she expires
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